I lazily glance at the partially stream lined moonlit glows on the ceiling, as my body slowly relaxes and eyelids gravitating towards one another, I am starting to drift asleep in a hotel bed. As I start dreaming, I hear a shallow, mumbled, and masculine voice coming into my presence and say, "Now, start to let the shadows travel towards the other side of the room on the ceiling" I clearly hear and keep listening to, what seems to be, the beginning of a performance in order to entertain an audience.
"Keep glancing towards those lines", he is now saying, "follow them down the wall to the floor towards the door. Now, close your eyes...feel still, engage in your aura. Now, open them to visualize and pull in the contrast in texture, shape, and variation, potentially even color."
Persuading the "audience" towards the artful and elaborate conceptions in looking at walls, blinds, color, light, and shape was to invigorate and seduce to follow a path, but I continue to "listen" as he talks. Still in dream mode, and not quite REM, and or still awake, I didn't know. Speculative and curious, I hear, "Stand up and follow me out the door, down the long, corridor, and to the grassy knoll"
The problem with wanting me to follow, was the acknowledgement of the hotel consisting of only a small, narrow, single balcony, verses a corridor, and also it was dark, rainy, and there were certainly no knolls at the hotel. But, as in dream mode, I take the action of rolling into a seated position and stand up to take the next step of wandering out of the "door". In sleep mode, however, I am tucked inside my sheets, fearful, anxious, anticipating, and safe and it is as if I am watching a video transpire.
In front of my "dream" vision shows dark manly silhouette, not defined, but transparent as a true male figure. As I follow this figure in the beginning of our walk, we start speeding up a bit and uneasiness fills my body. We start to slow down and as I ponder, "what am I am doing out here walking, in the pouring rain, away from my wonderful warm bed, sleeping deeply". Then, I encounter two less defined images, more like defined human blobs of blackness. As they both abruptly stop in front of me, I decide to run in between them only to glance back, feeling startled. I turn and run back to the hotel, full speed, as I know I am in danger. Feeling immense fear drove me to steady and quick pace into a sprint. Feeling my hamstrings and gluteals fully engage, elbows driving back, hips stabilized, and core engaged through each turn, my route is a powerful explosion of frightened maneuverability. I am now back at the hotel!
I heard no voices and upon waking into more of a light sleep than a deep slumber, I realize that that was not a real experience. I am still curled up under the covers, the curtains as they were when I went to bed, and the "imaginary door" in my dream was closed, and wall had formed back. The silhouette is now standing somewhere near the blinds, but I can't see him, yet hear him say, "I am behind the blinds now, and I want your eyes to follow me." I do and the blinds are moving, like someone is moving back and forth slowly behind them. Then he says, "You will feel me move under your bed and I will move towards the kitchen". I am seeing a lump come towards me and feel it move under me, like my dog is trying to find food under the bed. My body felt this and it made my hips literally lift up, as he moved under me. This image is now playing with my emotions and I realize I am experiencing not only a very active dream and encountering spiritual warfare.
I only got an hour or so of sleep, only to wake up to many "people", entities, surround the hotel room, coming in and out. It was somewhat consistent with the atmosphere I found myself in at the shelter. I am still unclear about that aspect of the dream...but, I slept a little more. This next chapter that happened was an apparent scheming and delivering of a a cat and mouse game, almost pushing me into a nightmare. When the entity came back, I became very frustrated again because I needed sleep and I was not given that. His presence was inevitable so, I respond to the entity's declaration of being there by saying, "Get out of here! I am trying to sleep", yet he still moves swiftly around the room, under the bed, behind the curtains, by my bed, towards the door, thus freaking me out intensely, and in response to this emotion, I continue, "I said get away, you are not scaring me and I am trying to sleep!" As I begin to tense up, in my dream, he starts into a very directive conversation, I am being challenged. I finally said, "Get out in Jesus's name". He left reluctantly...and I slept.
Minutes later, I wake to the presenter almost finalizing his "performance". He asks the audience to "Tell me what you really feel about me", he states this with a smirk because all of the responses from the "audience" are shown on a text style format on a atmospheric flat screen. All of the responses were uttering things such as "baby killer", "woman abuser", "devil", etc. I said simply, "you need to tell your audience about Jesus, and he did not like that either, HOWEVER, yelling profanities at entities is not optimal, but kicking them to the curb, showing them the truth from the Bible through the power of Jesus, is essential. The dream essentially ended there and I came to the resolution that hating demons is biblical, loving them with Christ's love is not! So, here are some references I feel help me, instead of using profanity, as visualization tools can be useful as incredible resources:
A college female Softball player batting the ball over the fence ( sorry, we are in season
UT Softball Team and they are doing amazing!)
A football kickers powerfully executed kick into the goal
A goalie driving the ball into the net
A Tennis player's precise ace into the opposing court
A sprinter off the blocks, into a full sprint
A boxer who TKO's their opponent into submission
You get the point!
Here is a side story of my life, which is essential in knowing why I am writing this blog:
I grew up in a small town in the panhandle of Texas. Both my mother and father were helicopter pilots, waterskiing, snow-skiing, Biblical, parents. I didn't know my father when he died in a plane crash, due to me being only 18 months old. My mother carried my younger brother in her womb when she had to go through this tormentous event.
He was a great man, incredible pilot, leader, and inspiration to thousands he came across, and I guarantee a playful father, full of charm and liberal love for my mother and I.
My mother (and my brother and I) married a man, my next father to be (and his son), two years older than me) four years after my father died. They married one year after they met and had my baby sister. Whoa...an intense feeling of the unknowing for a 6 year old girl). However, life happened then and it was confusing, because now there were two males and an extra female taking up the love my mother gave me!
We grew up in a home filled with the Bible, but not necessarily religious way. My new dad supported my mother financially supported three people he would never have known, and was a teacher, with a new baby, so I looked at the situation from afar, became a little bit mischievous in the home, but was always a good student. I was taught to not use profanity, be a good human, study hard, play with an intensity if so be, act respectfully, love family...all of these which I did to the best of my ability.
Nightmares were not ever existent...therefore I do not characterize this dream as a nightmare, but I've learned more about spiritual realms. Even though I was taught the Bible, about Jesus, demons, evil and good, etc, I really never went to full capacity with what that all meant. As I a grew up, my intentions were to be loving, but open minded, guarded, but personable, pure, but curious.
The Evil in this world devours the essence of good in the soul. Feeling the darkness intermittently can grab a person by the ankles, dragging them to a deep depression. Sometimes growth can be gradual, thinking our mistakes are so small that we will never feel the impact of our actions. For some, as we grow into life, our actions can be so drastically impactful and we don't know how the rug so aggressively pulled out from underneath us! All of us must navigate our sails, oars, feet, minds, what have you, at many degrees and paces. This article was written immediately after I woke up from my dream because it was diabolical to where I am going in life for the next journey of this trail my body seems to be heading up on!
This blog will be meant to encourage, embrace, and intensify any thoughts I, or any other human is impacted optimally, sub-optimally, tragically, or happily by. I encourage shares, comments, criticism, or just a shout out for any article I write! Please look at it with an open mind and thoughtful engagement of humanity! We are all on this journey together and I will always be here for you, as the reader!
Thank you for reading and your future interactions, as I explore a new and exciting journey in life, writing this blog!
LOVE,
SMS
